Over the past few years, a phenomenon has cropped up on TikTok in which creators encourage viewers to “romanticize their lives,” and approach their lives from a self-centered perspective. The phenomenon exploded at the beginning of the summer, following loosened mask restrictions across the United States. As teens and young adults battle against high rates of depression, they want to write their own narratives. Their method for doing so: acting as the protagonist of a fictional story.
Though innocent in nature, the phenomenon is pompous, disrespectful to others, and occasionally dangerous. When others begin to center their worldview exclusively around themself, they become less empathetic with other people. People who practice “main character” behavior place themselves in a paradigm in which other people are more like objects than humans. Empathy is the key to human connection. Feeling unable to relate to other people disconnects one from society as a whole. And while I’m not endorsing society as a concept (that’s an article for another day), to be involved in the community is to exist. By detaching from other people, you are declaring yourself to be superior.
Trying to live a life emblematic of film and literature also means potentially putting oneself at risk. Reckless behavior is easily romanticized when viewing the world through an idealistic lens. Doing drugs doesn’t make your life the Lorde “Green Light” music video, it makes you a teenager setting yourself up for regret. Additionally, heat-of-the-moment unprotected sex (no pun intended) and impulsive adrenaline-inducing joyrides down I-25 further put your wellbeing at risk. When you convince yourself that spontaneity is synonymous with a cinematic lifestyle, you become numb to the dangers of living. Speeding down highways with the windows down may sound exhilarating, but it puts the lives of everyone else in jeopardy. Trying to emulate the lives written for the screen will never end well. After all, it’s impossible to give a script a pulse.
The narcissistic behavior exhibited by those with “main character syndrome” makes the world a lonelier place to be. Though you may be madly in love with yourself, the people in your life feel alone. You come off as cold and uncaring. Catering solely to your own needs simply makes you a bad friend. You have to be there for the ones who love you or they’ll never be there for you. Your “side characters” often turn out to be the most important part of the story.
You should absolutely put yourself first, just learn to not be so ignorant about it. There is a way to embrace and preach self-love without having a love affair with your own existence. Other people live here. What you think of like your own personal movie set is a home for the rest of us. Care about yourself. Practice self-care. But do more than that. The key to happiness is going beyond the self. By connecting with others, you place yourself in the present without coming off as arrogant. Involve yourself with the world. Define your own narrative. But resist the urge to retreat into your mind. Life happens with those you love, not independent of the best part of the story.